January 28

 I forgot to update this blog last week.  Things got away from me, I guess.  Well that and I was frustrated as Hell at my son because even though he did well the first week of our new behavior plan, he tanked during the entire 2nd week.  I don't know why he is so stubborn.  I am sure he's a product of his parents as his dad and I are both very stubborn people - stubborn to a fault - stupidly stubborn, so I will take the blame for it.  ;-)  Last week was so hard.  He was doing so well until one day, we stopped off at the mall so my daughter could get use her gift card for new makeup.  Knowing how much Ross HATES the mall, I reminded him (just like Lauren said) that we were going to do something he hates to do but if he was really good, we would leave quickly and he would earn 2 stars (1 extra for going to the mall).  He was all for it.  Good sign.  Until.....dun dun dunnnnnn - he asked if he could just stay in the car while we went into Macy's.  I told him that wasn't possible or safe and that we would only be a minute, then it was on.  It was ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!  See this sweet child to the right here?  Well, when he gets pissed off, he turns into this:

 

 

(Artwork courtesy of Hannah Frank)

ROFL!  Hannah drew this about 6 or 7 years ago when she was in elementary school.  I have always loved this picture, lol.  So anyway, he turned into the infamous Dr. Dreadful and once that happens, it's almost impossible to shut down.  I made him come into the mall with us and he was so mad, he was cussing!  I tried to remind him that he is working for stars so he can get that reward he wanted so badly (dinner at McDs, I think) but he wasn't listening to any of it.  We finally made it into the cosmetics department and I had him sit quietly in the chair and we would be done really quick.  He proceeded to ask me "Well, what if I don't?  What if I don't want to do what you say?  What are youuuuuu gonna do about it?"  He's right.  What will I do?  What CAN I do?  He's already lost most of his privileges and it's not like I'm going to beat him (which I really wanted to do, lol - not really, but seriously, yes I did) so all I can do is give him a nasty look and try to scare him quiet.  Didn't work.  Then I was called a bully and he said everything was all my fault and blahblahblah, yadayadayada.  Same ol' shit he says all the time.  I'm sure, if you have a child like mine, you've heard the same things.

 

Macy's didn't have the makeup.  @^$%$@#  Guess what, Ross?  We get to go to DILLARDS!!  "OH MY GOD!!!" said Ross, LOL!  And the rant began again.  I tried to make him think about Lauren's anger chart and figure out what number he was at.  3 for mediocre?  4 for really mad?  How about 5 for "about to blow a gasket"?  that's what Ross named level 5, the highest level on the anger chart - The chart asks you to identify and write what each stage looks like.  He said 3 looks like I don't know because I can't read what he wrote but 4 looks like "screaming and red faced" and 5 looks like "blow a gasket", LOL. Then it asks him to write what it feels like and finally, to write what he can do to stop it. Kinda makes him have to think about it.   So I asked him to tell me where he was ( he was a 5) and what he could do about it.  He said "I don't give a crap what I can do, I LIKE IT!  I'M NOT GOING TO STOP" and just kept it up.  I finally walked away.  I could not calm  him, I could not reason with him, I had to let it run its course.  The final straw came when we got to Dillards and I asked him to PLEASE calm down so we could have a nice night together.  He refused and kept walking towards the door, bitching and whining about stuff and that's when I had had enough.  He was just about to go inside the door of the shoe department, acting like an ass and talking smack.   "Ross, you stop right there!  You have now lost your trip with Ethan to the Stock Show!!"  Ross stopped dead in his tracks.  He turned around and looked at me completely bewildered and said - get ready for it - "Why??  What did I do?"

 

Face palm - smh!

 

I won't get into what went on afterwards but I will say, it worked like a charm and I was able to give him what for and make him settle his butt down.  I swear to God I didn't have one problem from him the rest of the night.  Of course, he was in his room for most of the time after we got home, but at least I found the right button to push.  I was hoping that by now the herbal/holistic meds would have kicked in and started making a difference in his ADHD and focusing but there's not very good news on that front.  I can' t see a difference at all, he's still acting like a weirdo in class.  I just hate to put him back on Ritalin.  He hates that medicine and it agitates him more than anything.  It also makes him feel sick to his stomach.  He fights me about taking it so I'm not going to give it to him if he feels that strongly about it.  I would be nuts to keep doing that to him.  The only thing the doc suggested - get this - was to give him more medicine.  She shot me down on the herbal/holistic stuff and told me she wouldn't even talk about it with me because none of it's been tested by the FDA and wawawaawwawawawawa.  She was kind of a bitch about it.  Oh well....what do you do?

 

I digress.....for the most part, he did well with the star chart.  Then it got to where he would try to manipulate me with the starts and what should earn stars.  Then he just started adding extra stars altogether even though he didn't earn them.  I found it very surprising that, according to the chart, Ross had earned 10 stars in just a few hours after coming home from his dad's.  Ppfft!  Cheater!  ;-)  He finally has gotten to the point where he doesn't give a shit about stars and he's going to keep up the arguing and the whining and the whole trying to get out of doing what I ask.

Lauren came today and worked with Ross on  his organization skills, or lack thereof.  We also decided to try a different kind of chart.  This one is we make a list of daily chores/tasks and put a box to the side of it.  If he does the task as asked, with minimal issues, he gets a yes.  But if he gives me too much of a problem, we add another square so he has to get one more yes before he reaches his goal and can get the reward.  I am praying that it works.  I had a whole bunch of Rossisms to give tonight from the past week and some of them were really funny but stupid me accidentally reset the message settings on my phone and it erased them all.  For those of you who don't know what Rossisms are, they are weird, odd and/or freaking hilarious things that Ross says during either an observation he's made or a very inappropriate joke or comment.  Let me see if I can remember any of them:

 

ROSSISMS:

 

Me:  Ross, how was Social Thinking class tonight?

Ross:  It was fine.  We did some really nasty things in there.....(meaning sexual things)

 

Ross:  Mom, I was wondering if it was possible to fart and then have your butt suck it back in.   

 

Ross:  ::mocking his sister:: I'm Hannah and I'm hella-gay!! 

 

Ross:   Mom, have you ever French kissed someone? ( why he asks this i have no clue)
Me:  Yes, honey, i have.
Ross: That's nasty. Please tell me you didn't get tongue-tied! 



 

 

There are many more but I can't go throughout Facebook to find them all because I'm just too tired to do it, but I will make a point to publish them as I get them.  I fixed my text messaging so that my daughter can text them to me when we hear Ross say something and I can't write it down.  He's really a good kid but, my Lord, he is rough to take sometimes.  The boy needs a dad.  Some male influence that he can count on, that will help him navigate adolescence and teach him to become a man.  Maybe one day it'll happen, until then I'll keep on teaching him the best I can.  It's hard to be mom and dad for a regular child, much less a special needs child.  But I'm doing it and I'm not quitting and I'm not giving up.

He has Social Thinking class tomorrow night and I have parent training (really, it's parent bitching, lol) so maybe I will have something else to report back.  It's a slow process and a slow blog, I realize that.   Sorry if it's boring but I am hoping that some interesting things happen that will actually be...well..interesting.  ;-)

Jen