Danny Raede and Other Stuff

Danny Raede

This kid is freaking AWESOME!!!  Please excuse my language but that is the only word I can think of to get across my excitement of this guy!   He has Asperger's and he's teaching parents and teachers HOW to help a kid with Asperger's reach their full potential.  He and his friend have put together a series of videos called the Growth Series and it's FREE and he shows you how to deal with Aspies and help them GROW into productive and happy adults.  Here is his first informational video (is informational a word?  Probably not.)

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=519536198142745&set=vb.315968628486678&type=2&theater

Here is the link for the Growth Series he's pushing in the above video!  

http://www.aspergerexperts.com/growthseries

I cannot tell you how happy I am to have found this on Facebook.  Ross is going through some really tough issues and I wonder if he'll ever be able to function normally.  Now I have hope that even on his bad days, he can make it through.  Now if I could just get some help with that we might actually make it.  I cannot wait to watch this series at home when I have time to sit down and take a look at it.  With all this campaign stuff going on, it's hard for me to sit down and look at everything.  This, however, should be a priority.

Lately, Ross has gotten more combative than usual.  He's back to not doing what he's told and back to constantly arguing with me whenever I tell him to do pick something up or turn off the TV or computer.  I know he gets bored but geez, you can't sit on your ass all the time and watch cartoons.  I don't want to increase his medication because he's already gained 25 lbs from it and he doesn't need to get any bigger than he is.  Surely there is a different way to go!

I took Ross wanted to see  Frosty the Snowman the other night at Casa Manana and he just loved it.  He was SO happy to see those tickets and I heard "you're the best mom ever" like 14 times that night, LOL!  Those are the good times.  Thank God we have them.  He also insisted on seeing Santa at the mall the other day.  The boy is 14 and a half years old!!  He just won't let Santa go, LOL!  My daughter has tried to tell him but he is in total denial that Santa isn't real.  He just keeps hoping that Santa isn't make believe.  Look at this face:

 

My sweet boy......

See how Santa had to sit on his own leg so Ross wouldn't crush his kneecap?  LMAO!  

Do any of you still have kids this age that just won't let it go?  Tell me your stories, we would love to hear them! 

GLUTEN FREE - PROS AND CONS

MY BOY!!!!

I can't believe how much he's growing!  This kid is about 170lbs and 5'10" tall at 14 years of age.  Every day he changes again so I'm constantly in awe that this is my little boy. 

I can still take him, though......  ;-)

Ross's meds are doing well.  He seems happier and less aggressive and he hasn't chased his sister around the house in months and months, except for when they are playing.  They still play like they did when they were 10 and 7, LOL!  They are 17 and 14.  Sigh....the time flies.

I recently started taking as much gluten from his diet as possible.  He has gained so much weight from that stupid Risperdal that he's on - I'd say like almost 25 pounds.  He's tall enough that he could carry the weight but lately, he's quite portly around the middle.  What makes me mad is that he doesn't eat that much at all!  3 meals and 2 snacks a day and I'm such a health nut, I make sure he's not gobbling sugars and crap food.  I make him his breakfast of waffles and fruit, his lunch of a ham sandwich (or peanut butter), carrots, juice and a fruit snack and then dinner usually consists of two veggies and a lean meat of some sort.  Snacks are usually fruit, fruit snacks or snack bars so I know it's not what he's eating.  He could also use getting out and exercising more - that's my fault.  I'm a runner and I go to the gym but on days I don't, I work on something in the house and I'm tired.  I need to be getting Ross out with me.  He actually likes running with me for a couple of miles so I just need to bite the bullet and go run on my "days off".

Back to gluten:  Before I started watching his gluten intake, Ross was the gassiest and nastiest boy around, LOL!  He could stink up and clear out a room faster than Yosemite Sam could draw his pistol!  He has complained for years that his stomach hurts and that he doens't feel good in his tummy.  Whenever I brought it up to his doctors, they all said, don't worry about it or give him another pill or geez, too many different responses to list.  One of them told me ( an actual doctor told me this) that I could go ahead and "do my little diet" but it's not going to make a difference and it would be best to medicate him even more.  WOW!  Screw you, doc!  During the last visit with Ross's psychiatrist, I mentioned his stomach problems were worse and she suggested, and this is kinda of funny, she suggested taking gluten and/or bread out of his diet and maybe even try some whole grain breads.  ??  Huh?  Ok, so let me see if I got this.....take him off the gluten bread and feel free to give him whole grain bread.  That makes NO sense at all considering whole grain bread is full of gluten.  Smh....ok, so I decided to really go gluten free for Ross.  I buy gluten free bread, gluten free chicken nuggets, waffles, macaroni and cheese, cookies, crackers, snack bars, etc..  All of the things Ross loves, I try to find the gluten free version of it.  I thought I was doing great!  Then I discovered that gluten is in fucking everything!  Sauces, meats, mixes, almost everything we use in foods has some kind of gluten ancestry, for lack of a better word.  

Half of my grocery bill is now gluten free crap - this stuff is expensive.  The bread is 5x the cost of regular bread, the chicken nuggets are also.  You can expect to pay at least $2-3 more per item if you want it gluten free.  That's what stopped me the last time I tried this.  This time, Ross has been in so much pain and discomfort, I said screw it and bit the bullet and I am very happy with the results.  Not everything he eats is going to be gluten free but I can cut gluten from about 90% of his diet.  The result?  No horrible farting, no more stomach aches, not as many cranky days and a general, overall feeling of  not wanting to hurl all the time.  Now that he's getting older, he's been able to tell me more about how he feels physically and what bothers him and when.  If we have a gluten filled weekend where I let him have regular pizza or regular burgers or whatever, he WILL feel it and he will be glad to tell you how shitty he feels.  I just wish gluten free was the same as fat free so that we could get rid of some of this weight he's added on.  Oh, well, that will come later, I suppose.  One thing at a time, I've learned.

This GF fad that's going around may actually hold some water.  I do feel better when I have a gluten free lunch and I know that some kids have digestive issues and Ross has had them since birth.   This is working more than it's not, if that makes sense.    So more about the food; our favorite bread is NOT Udi's or Rudi's, LOL.  I prefer Kinnickinick.  It's a white bread that seems to be a lot less hard and a lot less stale feeling than the others I mentioned AND IT'S WHITE BREAD!  :-)    It's worth paying extra for bread that isn't really like real bread but still tastes almost like real bread.  Matter of fact, there are lots of things that are actually pretty tasty! I've been eating as much gluten free as possible, too, and I have noticed...well....let's not talk about me  ;-)

So there it is - Ross is doing well.  About to try basketball for6 weeks, doing ok in school and he's being a sweet, but still quite obnoxious, young man.  

Love my Rosser!

FEEL FREE TO COMMENT!  

TIME GETS AWAY FROM ME:

I cannot believe how time has gotten away from me.  I guess I should set aside Saturday mornings for my blogging.  Having two blogs, two kids, two dogs and two cats and a full time job - PLUS trying to workout 5 times a week - has proven to be time consuming.  No shit, right?  Heh.

Anyway, I hated letting the last post just hang out in the wind like that because it sounds like I hate my kid, LOL.  I don't hate him, I just get frustrated.  Since that last post, I had tried experimenting with herbal and holistic remedies for Ross to take instead of the mind altering, pyschotropic drugs and amphetamines.  I was running out of options because the ADHD meds ( amphetamines) were not working and the choices of medications was dwindling.  Ross was becoming more explosive at home and more annoying and disruptive at school.  His doctor kept telling me that I would have no other choice but to put him on Risperdol.  UGH!  I vowed to fight that as long as I could because I had heard horrible things about it.  I just didn't want my son on any powerful drugs.

I put Ross on the herbal crap and it was just like I said - CRAP!  Actually, I have to say that I was unable to really work the program because the school refused to give him the supplements because they weren't FDA approved.  It turned into a battle with the school district!  For one thing, *I* am the parent and *I* have total control and authority over the care of my son.  I don't give a fig if district policy prohibits schools giving out herbal or holistic medicines (oh but they will allow me to give him heavy duty meds that have horrendous side effects with no problem - if the FDA approved it, it must be safe, right?  Wrong!)  So I was only able to give him the new stuff, which were mostly vitamins, in the morning and in the evening.  He needed to take them after lunch, too, to receive the full effect but they said no.  So I wound up going to the school board and the superintendent of schools to tell remind them of who is in charge of my kid and his treatment - ME!   And I didn't go to the board for just my kid, I went for all of us parents that have come to the end of our rope when it comes to medications and schools.  Not every parent knows to go to their board member or start calling the superintendent's office.   Long story short, we agreed to have parents sign a waiver to hold schools harmless if a child had an adverse reaction to an herbal/holistic drug.  There's a lot more to this story but I will post on more of that later.


Eventually, I had to put him back on the ADHD drug, Focalin.  To my dismay, the Focalin caused some uncontrollable head bobbing in Ross and he couldn't make it stop.  He would bob is head every 3-4 seconds and it was just terrible.  This is exactly the kind of shit I've been screaming at my doctor and the schools over.  Turns out, it was a reaction to the drug that ultimately means he can never take another stimulant medication again.  So off of that he went.  The bobbing didn't stop for several weeks.  I'm thinking of a lawsuit against the manufacturer.

I finally broke down and put Ross on the Risperdal.  We had our final blowup (well HE did) where he actually threatened his sister's life.  Enough is enough.  His doctor agreed there was nothing else to do but try the Risperdol so we started him on the lowest dose.  I have to admit, there was an immediate difference.  No more explosions, no more threats, no more running down the street, LOL, no more craziness.  He still loses his temper but that's normal; I don't want him to be a zombie, but his moods changed dramatically.  <deep breath>  He did gain about 15 pounds but he's also almost 6 feet tall.  Did I mention he had his 14th birthday in June?  Yeah, he's a giant.  More of a Baby Huey type for my friends that are my age, LOL.  What gets me is the other day, Ross and I were having just a day for the two of us and went to eat lunch somewhere.  He carried on a great conversation (and he even made sense), made jokes, acted like a regular kid.  It was just a fleeting glimpse of what Ross may have been like if he hadn't developed autism.  Sometimes, God gives me those little bursts of  normalcy in Ross but they are very short lived and don't happen very often.  It's almost like he's come out of the fog and he's here and present and just fine.  I pray we have a lot more of those times to share in the future.  We had a great meal together.  <sniffle>

Unfortunately, the Risperdol does not help with the annoying and disruptive habits, the problem of concentrating or the inability to focus on a task for very long.  I really don't want him on any more medications, either.  Trying to get him to stop acting like a cartoon or making an irritating sound he heard on TV is like pulling teeth.   He's looking forward to starting Social Thinking class again this fall and is asking about it.  If I could just get him to act more like a 14 yr old and not like an 8 year old, things would be really good.   Baby steps, right?  Right....sigh.....hey, at least he says he can't stop thinking about boobies.  I was kinda worried about him for a little bit, heeeheee!

So that's where we are.  For any of you that need information on how to handle your school districts, your ARD meetings and any other problems you're having with getting your kid the right help, please let me know.  I was elected to the Fort Worth ISD's  District Advisory Committee for Special Ed services and I know how to work these people.  Don't be afraid to take out your lady balls ( or just your regular ones if you're a dad)  when you meet with them is my first piece of advice.  ;-)

I will be updating this blog more regularly. 

Before I forget:  Rossisms from this morning:

"Mom, I am strangely hungry again.  Hope I don't miss breakfast at school.  I may have to start a cussing montage." 

Well, alrighty....

FEBRUARY 6

Let's get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?  Tonight was a total disaster!  Actually, this week was a total disaster.  Ok, maybe not the whole week but a lot of it was.

Ross did really well with his behavior most of the time.  There were a few days where he had some issues but for the most part, 2 meltdowns in one week was all we had to deal with.  I know that sounds like a lot and I guess it is....but I guess I'm just used to this sort of thing.

This will be one hell of an entry.  ;-)

ROSS - what can I say?  He's Ross!  Learning how Ross sees things is hard to do.  Trying to learn how he thinks is even harder.  For the past week, we've run into some things that the ABA ( applied behavior analysis) hasn't worked on.  There are times when he's great and we're plugging along and then BAM!  He decides he wants to buy lunch at school but we can't because his buy days are Thursday and Friday.  There are a few reasons I don't let him buy every day.  First, I can't afford to buy his lunch every day (because he also chooses to buy breakfast) and when he does buy his lunch, he has a habit of buying like 3 cheeseburgers and 3 chocolate milks and candy and at breakfast it's the same thing.  He doesn't know when to stop eating and he thinks he has to eat everything as fast as he can, like it's going to run away or something.  I realize the boy is 13 and he's a bottomless pit but he also needs to be aware of what he's eating and how much or else he'll wind up the size of the Taj Mahal!  He has a set amount of money each week and I like for it to last and it also teaches him to watch his money.  Well, at the last minute on Tuesday, he decided he wanted to buy his lunch.  I told him it wasn't Thursday so he would have to wait.  He had had such a great morning, too.  He got up and got his breakfast, he got dressed, everything went beautifully with no arguing until that moment.  Then all Hell broke loose.  As he put it:  "I WANT TO BUY MY LUNCH, DANGIT!  THIS SUCKS! I HATE IT WHEN YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE WHAT I WANT!  YOU NEVER LET ME BUY MY LUNCH AND THIS IS SOOOOOO STUPID.  I WANT TO BUY MY LUNCH BUT NOOOOOOOOO, YOUUOOOO WON'T LET ME.  THIS IS JUST GODDAMN STUPID.  WHAT BULLSHIT".   Yeah....that's basically how it went all the way to school.  He did manage to quiet down in the car but he was still huffing and puffing about it and talking and mumbling under his breath.  Here's the kicker - he had an excellent day at school; no making silly noises, no being disruptive, no acting silly, nothing.  He was able to behave and concentrate on his work all day.  I was really proud of him.  It got me thinking that the new holistic meds he's on are finally working pretty well, or well enough for him to keep it together at school.  Such a change from the previous Saturday when we went to the Stock Show.

 

 

Ah yes, the Stock Show - all the rides and food and drink and rides and exhibits and animals and FUN FUN FUN!!  I love the Stock Show, I go every year and have since I was a little girl and the kids and I go every year, too.  I don't usually have a problem with Ross but this year was different.  Going in, we decided to do the rides first because we like to eat the food and you can't eat before hitting the rides or PUKE!  So we rode the rides and everyone was happy and we got our food and everyone was happy and we got our picture taken with the two Bull People and I was really happy because not only did we get THIS  ---> picture here, I now have something to put with this picture below:

Isn't it beautiful?  I love these pictures.  I wish Ross would smile like he used to when he was little.  Now he gets bashful when he smiles, as you can see in the newer pic, LOL.    Anyway, so we were all happy and full and going in to the exhibits hall as we always have and that's when Ross gets a little antsy.  He doesn't want anything to do with the exhibits hall and is barging through people and talking loudly about how stupid everyone is for not moving out of the way, LOL.  It's really not funny but I have to laugh now because it's so typical of autism.  I decided to get them a snack and a drink so we went for french fries and that seemed to do the trick for just a few minutes.  Then I realized I lost my hoodie!!!!!!  NOT MY FAVORITE HOODIE!!!!!  YES MY FAVORITE HOODIE!!!!!  So I go back to the last three places and Ross isn't having any of it so he throws a fit.  But, of course.  I decided it's time to go - 3 hours was my limit.  I lost my jacket and Ross is being a total ass!  He didn't get any dippin' dots, damnit!!  So we're going back to the car and Ross thinks we're going to ride another ride since I still have 4 tickets left.  I had to tell him that his behavior is the cause for our leaving early and that he's ridden all of the rides he was allowed to ride.  The limit was 5 each ( but I was going to give them one more ) and he knew that.  To make a long story short, he had another meltdown as we left and all the way home he did his usual routine.   I am learning that you can't reason with autism and no matter how I explain to him what he did and why it's wrong and blahblahblah, it's too many words for him to process.  I've known this for a while, really, but sometimes when life is life, you forget how to process HIS processes.  Does that make sense?  Well, I'm tired so you'll figure it out on your own eventually  ;-)


ME~~

I was so tired that evening after Stock Show.  I got so tired and irritated that I said some pretty mean things to Ross that evening because I just couldn't listen to him anymore.  I didn't want to see his face, hear his voice, anything.  I had had enough and just wanted some quiet time.  Hannah was spending the night at her friend's house and I was hoping I would get that quiet time.  Hardly, not with Ross around.  The one thing about autism is when they have that meltdown, they can be complete jerks, but when they're done, he doesn't understand why I'm so mad or why Mom's in a bad mood.  I am really good about putting myself in time-out when I get too upset and I'm ready to start the beatings (yes, I'm exaggerating, lol) but that night, I was not putting myself in time-out and  I was going to tell Ross just how I felt.  I shouldn't have done that.  He got upset with me and told me that I hurt his feelings real bad.  I told him he hurts mine every day with his constant battling and cussing and crudeness - did I mention that today he asked me what would happen if he was born without testicles?  LOL.  I know that's not crude, it's just Ross and he's got a million of 'em.  So, yes, I lost my temper and said hateful, hurtful things and made him cry.  I hate myself when I let things get that out of hand and it's those moments right then when I feel like a complete failure as a mother.  I'm not fishing for sympathy here, I'm just being real.  Mom has her bad days.  Mom needs to find ways to relieve the stress.  Mom needs to watch what comes out of her mouth, just like Ross needs to watch what comes out of his. 

I have been making such an effort to not react when he says certain things and Fran is always telling me what to do about it when it happens but what do you do when those things don't work and most of the time, it doesn't work.  Fran made the comment that Ross is really smart about a lot of things so he's going to be tougher to work with (Grrrreat!) because he can figure out real quick how to push my buttons and to get the reaction he wants.   My question is WHY does he want that kind of reaction from anyone??   I mean, it's not a good reaction.  AT ALL!  So far, I've done what has been asked of me.  I have A) kept it short and sweet - you can't reason and you can't explain too much or they shut down.  B)Asking him to tell me what needs to be done in the house to clean it instead of barking orders at  him.  C)Printing off the lunch menu and letting choose his 2 buy days.  D) letting him know that in order to get the reward, he must follow the rule.  Follow the rule - get reward.  The meltdown is hardest to handle because there's a fine line when it turns from a tantrum to an autism blowout in which you just have to put him in his room and let him finish it on his own.  I've gotten good at that part.  LOL!

SOCIAL THINKING CLASS~~


Tonight was not a good night.  It was a great day and he did really well until we got in the car to go to Social Thinking when he began the vulgar talk.  In my defense, I do NOT walk around in front of my kids and cuss like a sailor all the time.  I do say some bad words but I don't drop F bombs or other words like it.  Just had to clear that up.  But Ross lost his reward for TV because of his mouth.  Cussing and calling me deaf is not a way to get on my good side.

I'm such an idiot, sometimes.  This is why I feel like such a failure.  Last week, I took Ross to social thinking and it was the wrong night.  I got the schedule wrong.  It's every OTHER week, dumbass!  They let him stay anyway, which was nice of them, but there was no parent training so I just kinda stood around, lol.  Met some other parents.......I was like why didn't Fran tell me every other week.  She said every week, damnit!  I KILLED myself getting here on time and they aren't fucking here?!?!?  @$^&$r*($^&#wp(#&@#   That's what I felt like.  It wasn't her fault, it was mine.  Not paying attention - not writing it down - not checking the web site.  Tonight was our night to go and I was looking so forward to it.  Traffic is horrible over there and I was 10 minutes late to class but we got there and it was good - at 640 - and I was ready to get into the parent training.  10 minutes into it, Fran says OK let's all go see the kids, they've worked hard.  I realized at that moment, class was over.  WTF?  Turns out I wasn't 10 minutes late, I was 40 fucking minutes late.  Class starts at 6pm!  I thought it was at 630.  No, dumbass, that's the time Lauren comes on Tuesdays!!!  So I missed the class, Ross missed his class and to make matters worse, I let a bad word slip out.  Not just any bad word, I said THE word.  The queen mother of all dirty words.  Yeeppppp.  Right in front of a little boy in Ross's class.  I had no idea anyone heard me and I really didn't know I had uttered that word - in a church, no less!  Lord, have mercy, please.  So this kid comes up to me and he hugs me and just holds me and asks if I'm ok and I said "aww, sweetie, of course I am!"  and I looked at him and he was just bawling because I had said this horrible word and he told me that I said a really bad word, the worst one of all!!  and he cried and cried on me.  Oh, I felt horrible that I had made this sweet child so upset.  He told me that the demons got a hold of me and made me say it and he was afraid that they were going to take my soul down to the "realm" for it.  So we talked about it with Fran and then he was ok.  I, on the other hand, felt like the worst, most ignorant person in the world.  These children will humble you, that's for sure and they will always make you realize that all you can do is your best and sometimes your best sucks!  Sigh.........I am so tired.  I just feel like I can't get it together sometimes.  This is one of those days.

So we will keep working.  Next week, we go to the mall for some "public awareness" so to speak.  That ought to be interesting.

ROSSISMS~~

We have some new Rossisms! 

1)  What would happen if I had been born without testicles?

2) (after I burped once) OMG, you are so nasty, I'm going to shoot myself right now

3) (Hannah's talking about belly button rings) Mom, I want to get a butt-ring!

4) Mr. Flip-Flop at school told me "because I SAID SO!"

There are more but I can't remember them right now.  I'm trying to write them all down as he says them.

Any questions?  Comments?  By all means, leave them below.  :-)

January 28

 I forgot to update this blog last week.  Things got away from me, I guess.  Well that and I was frustrated as Hell at my son because even though he did well the first week of our new behavior plan, he tanked during the entire 2nd week.  I don't know why he is so stubborn.  I am sure he's a product of his parents as his dad and I are both very stubborn people - stubborn to a fault - stupidly stubborn, so I will take the blame for it.  ;-)  Last week was so hard.  He was doing so well until one day, we stopped off at the mall so my daughter could get use her gift card for new makeup.  Knowing how much Ross HATES the mall, I reminded him (just like Lauren said) that we were going to do something he hates to do but if he was really good, we would leave quickly and he would earn 2 stars (1 extra for going to the mall).  He was all for it.  Good sign.  Until.....dun dun dunnnnnn - he asked if he could just stay in the car while we went into Macy's.  I told him that wasn't possible or safe and that we would only be a minute, then it was on.  It was ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!  See this sweet child to the right here?  Well, when he gets pissed off, he turns into this:

 

 

(Artwork courtesy of Hannah Frank)

ROFL!  Hannah drew this about 6 or 7 years ago when she was in elementary school.  I have always loved this picture, lol.  So anyway, he turned into the infamous Dr. Dreadful and once that happens, it's almost impossible to shut down.  I made him come into the mall with us and he was so mad, he was cussing!  I tried to remind him that he is working for stars so he can get that reward he wanted so badly (dinner at McDs, I think) but he wasn't listening to any of it.  We finally made it into the cosmetics department and I had him sit quietly in the chair and we would be done really quick.  He proceeded to ask me "Well, what if I don't?  What if I don't want to do what you say?  What are youuuuuu gonna do about it?"  He's right.  What will I do?  What CAN I do?  He's already lost most of his privileges and it's not like I'm going to beat him (which I really wanted to do, lol - not really, but seriously, yes I did) so all I can do is give him a nasty look and try to scare him quiet.  Didn't work.  Then I was called a bully and he said everything was all my fault and blahblahblah, yadayadayada.  Same ol' shit he says all the time.  I'm sure, if you have a child like mine, you've heard the same things.

 

Macy's didn't have the makeup.  @^$%$@#  Guess what, Ross?  We get to go to DILLARDS!!  "OH MY GOD!!!" said Ross, LOL!  And the rant began again.  I tried to make him think about Lauren's anger chart and figure out what number he was at.  3 for mediocre?  4 for really mad?  How about 5 for "about to blow a gasket"?  that's what Ross named level 5, the highest level on the anger chart - The chart asks you to identify and write what each stage looks like.  He said 3 looks like I don't know because I can't read what he wrote but 4 looks like "screaming and red faced" and 5 looks like "blow a gasket", LOL. Then it asks him to write what it feels like and finally, to write what he can do to stop it. Kinda makes him have to think about it.   So I asked him to tell me where he was ( he was a 5) and what he could do about it.  He said "I don't give a crap what I can do, I LIKE IT!  I'M NOT GOING TO STOP" and just kept it up.  I finally walked away.  I could not calm  him, I could not reason with him, I had to let it run its course.  The final straw came when we got to Dillards and I asked him to PLEASE calm down so we could have a nice night together.  He refused and kept walking towards the door, bitching and whining about stuff and that's when I had had enough.  He was just about to go inside the door of the shoe department, acting like an ass and talking smack.   "Ross, you stop right there!  You have now lost your trip with Ethan to the Stock Show!!"  Ross stopped dead in his tracks.  He turned around and looked at me completely bewildered and said - get ready for it - "Why??  What did I do?"

 

Face palm - smh!

 

I won't get into what went on afterwards but I will say, it worked like a charm and I was able to give him what for and make him settle his butt down.  I swear to God I didn't have one problem from him the rest of the night.  Of course, he was in his room for most of the time after we got home, but at least I found the right button to push.  I was hoping that by now the herbal/holistic meds would have kicked in and started making a difference in his ADHD and focusing but there's not very good news on that front.  I can' t see a difference at all, he's still acting like a weirdo in class.  I just hate to put him back on Ritalin.  He hates that medicine and it agitates him more than anything.  It also makes him feel sick to his stomach.  He fights me about taking it so I'm not going to give it to him if he feels that strongly about it.  I would be nuts to keep doing that to him.  The only thing the doc suggested - get this - was to give him more medicine.  She shot me down on the herbal/holistic stuff and told me she wouldn't even talk about it with me because none of it's been tested by the FDA and wawawaawwawawawawa.  She was kind of a bitch about it.  Oh well....what do you do?

 

I digress.....for the most part, he did well with the star chart.  Then it got to where he would try to manipulate me with the starts and what should earn stars.  Then he just started adding extra stars altogether even though he didn't earn them.  I found it very surprising that, according to the chart, Ross had earned 10 stars in just a few hours after coming home from his dad's.  Ppfft!  Cheater!  ;-)  He finally has gotten to the point where he doesn't give a shit about stars and he's going to keep up the arguing and the whining and the whole trying to get out of doing what I ask.

Lauren came today and worked with Ross on  his organization skills, or lack thereof.  We also decided to try a different kind of chart.  This one is we make a list of daily chores/tasks and put a box to the side of it.  If he does the task as asked, with minimal issues, he gets a yes.  But if he gives me too much of a problem, we add another square so he has to get one more yes before he reaches his goal and can get the reward.  I am praying that it works.  I had a whole bunch of Rossisms to give tonight from the past week and some of them were really funny but stupid me accidentally reset the message settings on my phone and it erased them all.  For those of you who don't know what Rossisms are, they are weird, odd and/or freaking hilarious things that Ross says during either an observation he's made or a very inappropriate joke or comment.  Let me see if I can remember any of them:

 

ROSSISMS:

 

Me:  Ross, how was Social Thinking class tonight?

Ross:  It was fine.  We did some really nasty things in there.....(meaning sexual things)

 

Ross:  Mom, I was wondering if it was possible to fart and then have your butt suck it back in.   

 

Ross:  ::mocking his sister:: I'm Hannah and I'm hella-gay!! 

 

Ross:   Mom, have you ever French kissed someone? ( why he asks this i have no clue)
Me:  Yes, honey, i have.
Ross: That's nasty. Please tell me you didn't get tongue-tied! 



 

 

There are many more but I can't go throughout Facebook to find them all because I'm just too tired to do it, but I will make a point to publish them as I get them.  I fixed my text messaging so that my daughter can text them to me when we hear Ross say something and I can't write it down.  He's really a good kid but, my Lord, he is rough to take sometimes.  The boy needs a dad.  Some male influence that he can count on, that will help him navigate adolescence and teach him to become a man.  Maybe one day it'll happen, until then I'll keep on teaching him the best I can.  It's hard to be mom and dad for a regular child, much less a special needs child.  But I'm doing it and I'm not quitting and I'm not giving up.

He has Social Thinking class tomorrow night and I have parent training (really, it's parent bitching, lol) so maybe I will have something else to report back.  It's a slow process and a slow blog, I realize that.   Sorry if it's boring but I am hoping that some interesting things happen that will actually be...well..interesting.  ;-)

Jen

January 22, 2013

:-)  This picture is a little old and he's 13 now, not 10 (or 11?)  but this is my "sweet" child playing his Nintendo DS game.  A game that he can no longer have because he turns into a monster when he gets it.  I finally started to only allow it when we went shopping at the mall because he HATES shopping.

Anyway, this week was pretty good.  He has done really well maintaining his temper and staying polite.  We still have much to work on, though.  I have noticed a couple of times where he started to get really upset but he was able to stifle it and work through it.  He's earned some stars and even got to go to a few places he wanted to go.  So far, he's gotten to watch Frankenweenie,  he earned an hour of play on his Nintendo DS, he earned a favorite game to be played and he earned a trip to CiCi's Pizza which we will never, EVER do again!  EVER!  God that place is nasty!  Just nasty!  There was sticky goo on the edge of the seat, no clean tables and the pizza tasted like dogshit, I'm not kidding!  BAD!  I looked over at Ross at one point and he's just munching away, happy as can be, LOL.  I told him to enjoy it now because we won't ever be back!  ;-)  One interesting tidbit:  while we were standing in line, there were 3 girls in front of us and all of them were dressed very skate-punk.  They had piercings in their faces and colored hair, the works!  Ross didn't want to stand in line or be patient and wait for his turn to get pizza and he got very vocal about it.  People were staring and the girls kept looking over at Ross.  I apologized for his rudeness and I made Ross sit down at a table and wait for me.  Then one of the girls turned to me and said "If it makes you feel any better, I have autism."  She knew right away what I was dealing with.  She seemed nice and she had friends and she tried to make me feel better.  I thought that was so sweet of her.  She told me she has Asperger's, too.  Maybe one day, Ross will be able to have friends to go eat with and hang out with....I pray every day for that.

 We are now working towards a trip to McDonald's where he wishes to be "super-sized", lol.  We watched the movie Super Size Me and ever since, he can't stop thinking about it.

There have been a few close calls but for the most part, he's done well.  His behaviorist, Lauren, will be over tonight going over some new rules and new ideas for unwanted behavior outside of the home.  I would love it if she could make him a friendly shopper.  ;-)  Yeah, not gonna happen.  I seem to be calming down some myself and letting the plan do its thing.  It's been better in the house.  Not as much loudness, not as much yelling, although it is hard to change certain behaviors ( of mine) but I'm sure trying.

Tomorrow, Ross starts his Social Thinking Class at 6pm.   He will be in with other kids like himself and I will be in parent training.  I can't wait - I am actually looking forward to this.  :-)

We shall see how it goes.  Peace!

Jen

Thursday, January 17th

I didn't get to write last night because my daughter was sick and had to go take her to Crap Care Now for flu test but here is what I wanted to write:

Ross woke up in a mood this morning.  He did NOT want to get out of bed and that's pretty typical of him - unless you start talking about snow on the ground then he's up like a bolt of lightening - so I don't give it much thought.  But he started getting kind of rude so I took a deep breath and remembered the Star Board.  I told Ross that we need to get up so we can earn more stars today and he changed his whole attitude right then.  He sat up and got himself awake and came in the dining room to eat breakfast.  Gooooood!  :-)

I didn't give him his Ritalin this morning.  I gave him strawberry oatmeal, toast and his new Attend which is a holistic/herbal supplement that I'm trying at the advice of the nice Chinese lady that owns the heath food store down the street.  She says she has lots of customers with kids like mine that LOVE this stuff and every time I go to look at it, there are only a few left in the box - good sign.  It has to build up in his system, though, for about 2 weeks before I will see any changes.  I feel bad for his teachers.  I'm getting notes from them about his increased wiggliness and sillyness and distraction.  Fingers crossed and prayers prayed!

Hannah was ill and I had to take her to the doc which meant Ross had to go to his grandmother's while I was gone.  Ross begged and begged me to let him stay home because "I'm old enough and I knowsthe rules and I won't leave the house, or choke the dog or play with the stove or poor gasoline on the floor and light it or open the doors or ANYTHING!"

LOL!  You should have seen him working me.  He said I could trust him (HAH!) to make good choices and I really didn't want to take him and risk him getting sick so I let him stay behind.  I left him my phone in case of emergency and he said he would be a good boy and watch his movie and eat his pizza.  I did call and check on him once and he said "I'm ok, mom, I'm following ALL of the rules.  You can trust me!!"  :-)

I got home and he had, in fact, followed the rules.  He didn't get on the computer, he didn't watch South Park and he didn't watch Netflix or play the Wii (he got grounded from those).  However, I did notice he made some calls from my cell phone.  Really, Ross?  You called my physical therapist?  Why?  :-)   He also called his dad and the totally ignored him while he finished his game of Monkey Blast, LOL! 

He earned his stars, btw.  Three more and he gets Nintendo DS time.  God help us all because he turns into kind of an asshole when he's playing that stupid game.

JTF